A Strange Thing Happened To Me
I was just walking along, on a very normal day, along a very normal street, when a rather strange thing occurred.
I was having a variety of thoughts flowing through my mind when suddenly I felt a space open up. I then had a very distinct understanding appear in my mind….
“That is a thought. It can vanish in a moment. I am separate from this thought.”
I then felt a bit panicky. I was overcome by the feeling that there was nothing to depend upon. But I also felt as if something very important had happened. I had a very real sense of having had something new happen to me. A new awareness had just popped up and taken me by surprise. There was a feeling of impending freedom.
So, from time to time, over the next few days, I found myself pondering, and feeling again, that odd sense of being taken unawares by a new insight. But I couldn’t quite understand what I had perceived….something to do with The Thinker and The Thought. Then I remembered my old friend Krishnamurti. Of course, he had talked about this, so I went off to see what his explanation was.
His understandings are always so deeply complete that I find I have to delve so completely inside myself that it takes several readings of a paragraph to get to what he means. And then suddenly, it’s a case of “oh yes, that is so obvious!”
Well, in this particular case, it was certainly no different. I am still reeling a bit, but I shall try my best to make a brief explanation of what has turned out to be a very profound aspect of the way in which he explains that the human race impedes itself and stops itself from being really free.
The moment I became aware that my thought was not permanent, I had an insight into the way we try to make the things in our world permanent even though they are not. In other words, we try to make ourselves feel safe and secure (thus my momentary panicky reaction to the insight) in ways which are not actually true; we do this out of fear .
Krishnamurti then goes on to say that the only way out of this dilemma is to realise that the Thought comes from the Thinker. Therefore we can only make true change in our lives when we let go of the false beliefs etc which the Thinker bases his/her thoughts on. And the only way to change those things is by bringing in a non judgmental form of observation. This he calls “choiceless awareness”. I would say that the “mindfulness” practice which so many are talking about nowadays is what Krishnamurti was talking about so deeply all those years ago (1947).
So that moment’s insight on that day is certainly unravelling a bit more of the convoluted puzzle that is life. I am slowly finding that as I go on using my Core Energy Technique ( a choiceless awareness technique which I have constructed – see my web site) I am releasing unforeseen areas of trapped emotional memories. This lets the true energy of life in its myriad forms appear and unfold in the most unexpected ways.
As an addendum, let me just tell you that I love free dancing, whether to disco, soul or house music …. whatever that beat is , when I feel it, I respond. That is life.