A Crisis of Belief……. a continuation
I am feeling better … as in I don’t feel so lost.
Slowly clarity of mind is creeping through like the uploading line of colour on a computer. It was a relief to write my previous blog post. In fact, I didn’t realise quite how prescient my recent post, The Other Road Less Travelled, was going to be. I am certainly on a road that is not at all recognisable. I have put aside my cherished spiritual certainties and am working with the only apparent reality, which is that of
E N E R G Y .
Thankfully my own technique, The Core Energy Technique, is turning out to be a saviour yet again. I am using it (as I have always done) as a basis for my internal cleansing and clearing. Now more than ever I see the joy of using something which is not aligned to any belief structure; it is a neutral focusing base which works to help the user be able to stay present more easily with
W H A T I S .
This of course is what mindfulness thinking and meditation is about; staying as present as possible with our thoughts , trying not to analyse or judge. I have to say I am feeling oddly free now that I am not constantly trying to fit my actions and thoughts into a preconceived set of spiritual ideas. I have been through something of this before when I was first trying to sort out a very stressful time with my skin, and now it seems that I am having to deal with more of the same kind of questions again.
Obviously I am not done yet.
It seems that somehow if I slow down in the moment I can be more conscious of my interaction with the energy of the world. This helps me to stop going into the habit of belief (which is false and obstructive).
Again, strangely, I wrote a recent post Slow Down You Move Too Fast, which covered something of this topic of needing to slow down. This certainly shows how we can know things subconsciously before we become aware of them on the conscious level.
I am realising also how infantilising it has been to assume there is a force above me that is superior to me and guiding me, comfortable as that felt. Now I know it is up to me alone to respond to the world. I now understand that whatever my level of energy is, so the neutral energy of the world responds in kind. I suppose some might call this karma, but at the moment I am assuming nothing beyond what I am truly experiencing.
As I understand it now, as a level of clarity of energy is naturally expressed by each person, so it automatically attracts back a reaction from the universe at a like level.
So, simply, like goes to like no matter what the intellectual thinking might be. This may sound obvious, but there are very profound repercussions when this is truly understood.
Here I will turn to an old friend, J Krishnamurti, whom I have always held in high esteem for his clarity and individuality of thought. Interestingly, I have just today come across some writing of his which completely speaks to me in my present dilemma in his book, “The Ending Of Time”.
| Please press on the link to have a read for yourself online.
Photo credit: Kirshnamurti Online
In it he is discussing with Dr David Bohm how the mind can be cleansed of all conflict …
” I am caught in my misery, anxiety, etc., and you are trying to penetrate … this mass of darkness.
How will you do it?
Therefore we have invented Jesus, Buddha, Krishna – images which have become meaningless, superficial and nonsensical.
So what shall I do? ”
“The problem is to make the mind go very, very deeply into itself ……. [that] is the most practical thing, and [is] not an abstraction ……..
But that means giving your mind, your heart, and your whole being to this enquiry.”
In essence Krishnamurti is saying just what I am trying to get at.
Somehow we have to use our real inner connection with truth as the key to finding our answer for an understanding beyond the incomprehensible pain and destruction which is in the world.
We have to find a way beyond the conflict which resides in each of us. And it seems that the way forward lies in getting beyond our mechanical opinions and comfortable falsehoods.
I will keep you posted!