The Goddess Saraswati [An ancient wooden sculpture on loan from a museum situated in our hotel]
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These little miracles of winter arrived on my balcony a few days ago amidst blasting winds and driving rain and sleet.
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Just in case we weren’t feeling the rawness of winter enough I recently “enjoyed” seeing the two films, “The Hateful Eight” and “The Revenant”.
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Autumn is all too quickly disappearing . It is very swift of foot, promising so much lustrous colour and then moments later, just as the wash of colour is intensifying, hey presto the canvas of tawny tones is whipped away with a flutter of leaves in a draught of wind. There they lie, these leaves now muddied and dried out, the bane of the gardener or street sweeper. Where is their glory now? Nevertheless, the trees stand noble and stark somehow beautiful as they arabesque their outline against the sky; changed but not chastened.
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I answered my mobile phone two mornings ago, seeing it was Moira , and gaily answered saying “Hello Moira”. “This is Donald “, came the reply, and immediately I knew this was not good. Donald is her husband. He proceeded to tell me how she had had a massive heart attack the previous evening and although he had carried out CPR as well as then the emergency services, she had not responded.
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I am feeling a bit restless.
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It has been two weeks since I flagged up my confusion and misery about the whys of so many disparate acts of brutality and unjust pain in the world. Not great fun to read and certainly not great fun to be experiencing but that was what had hit me … like a bolt from the blue.
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Well, I have thrown away my crutches of set beliefs…and I am still standing. The thing is that I didn’t know I was using crutches, but what I did know was that something wasn’t right.
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I am feeling better … as in I don’t feel so lost.
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It has been a sombre week both for the world and for myself. I am sitting nursing feelings that don’t feel good.I feel as if I am stuck in a time warp and that whatever I try to do to climb out of this has no effect; I just cannot change things.
